Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Overdramatic rant, because sometimes things in life make me sad.

Stupid, stupid, stupid idea........but we talked today. I didn't do anything wrong, and now she is acting all self-righteous and different, but claiming she is being her, who she is. This whole thing is killing me slowly. I thought my heart was broken, but I still hear cracking. Not really.
That was sooooooo emo to say.
The whole point is, shoot....I need to find my emotional valve and just tighten the hell out of it with a wrench.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back....it's broken.

Love, love LOVE that quote from Grosse Pointe Blank. Well delivered. However, it is not my own personal philosophy. It used to be.
Last night was pretty fun- a friend asked if I was available to help clean up a rental house, in jest, and I agreed. It was a night of music, moving furniture, and surface cleaning. I know it doesn't sound like a hoot and a holler, but it's quite the rewarding feeling one gets accomplishing a task or project which helps another. In celebration, Jack and Gingers were had, as well as a good night's sleep.
5 hours of sleep.
I can't remember the last time I slept for more than two hours.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

No, I'm not having a midlife crisis, I'm only 25.

However, I'm driving down to Kent this week to pick up my new ride- a 1983 Honda C450. I guess if I was a little more smart about it, I could save some money and pick up one of those new bikes with the built in mp3 players and something that wasn't manufactured the same year I was, but I really love 70s and 80s Hondas.
The only thing I will have to keep in mind is something I learned the hard way; while riding my CB550 home from work one day, my exhaust pipe melted the bottoms of my scrubs. So, no scrubs on bikes. Also, I need a new helmet.

This song is terrible.

She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

"Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalypse, in which case it's not your fault. I'm been thinking about all these things and... you're probably standing there monitoring. And one more thing - about the letter. Nuke it. Flame it. Destroy it. - It hurts me to know it's out there. Later." 

I adore this movie, still.....though sadly, I could never be Lloyd Dobler, holding a boombox and blasting Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" outside of someone's house, as a) the situations are not the same, and b) chances are that said person's parents or neighbors would call the cops because some weirdo with Massachusetts plates is re-enacting a scene from Say Anything.


Peter Gabriel- In Your Eyes

Weird weather, weird mood........weird noises coming from my food.

Isn't it just Rice Krispies that are supposed to go snap, crackle, pop? I just made the sketchiest bowl of oatmeal. It is not going in my stomach.
It's rather torturous when you break up with someone who you care about. Especially when said person seems like they are trying hard to convince themselves they don't love you anymore. Like, talking and everything is fine, but songs and pictures make them uncomfortable, as if every picture of the two of you should not exist for a while, and your musical tastes should be altered by such a shocking experience. I don't get it. But, alas. Such is life.

Regardless. Back on the job hunt- I turned down a job at Brigham and Women's today, which I'm sure I'm going to get a ton of flack for. Honestly, though, I can not afford to move back to Boston right at this moment, and especially for a per-diem job. Really? Per-diem? I could have steadier employment as a substitute teacher. Hell, my washing dishes two nights a week will keep me better supported.
Anyway. Here are some tunes to which I am officially starting my day.
I would love to see a couple fast-waltzing to this song....the time is amazing.
Something about upbeat songs about not upbeat things can be comforting.
This has got to be the most amazing Cure cover.
Another Cure cover, but their originals are good, as well.


Again, I do hope you enjoy listening to my blog.

It isn't screaming infidelities, but your hair IS still everywhere.

 I can't sleep.
The year has definitely taken it's toll, but sleeping for three hours every two or three nights just isn't enough....it doesn't make any logical sense. I go running just about every day, 3 or 4 miles. That in itself should exhaust one's body in the midst of fall- depressed immune systems and all.
Time to turn to the world of mixtapes.
Jem- It's Amazing
The original version of this song really turns me off. This one give me that false romantic-comedy hope. It's cutesie.
Cut Chemist- What's the Altitude
Tell me you can't feel this beat.
Elliott Smith- Angel in the Snow
Madeline Peyroux- Between the Bars
Elliott covers sung by raspy-voiced beauties. Delish.
Lena Horne- Stormy Weather
The classic 1950s Valium popping housewives' songs....when they scripts run out.
Journey- Lights
Mmmm....this song reminds of driving out of the city and back home while the sun was setting against all of the cars on the freeway.
American Football- You Know I Should Be Leaving Soon
Debussy- Claire de Lune
 Debussy owns my soul.
Sleater-Kinney- Modern Girl
Erin Mckeown- Lullaby in 3/4
Pretty self-explanatory.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The time for change is now- can you break a fifty?

So, I really suck at words.
I suppose it doesn't look good for me to print that- anywhere- as I used to make a living from my writing. However, I smartened up and returned to Harvard. Which, after a 5 month leave of absence, I officially dropped out of last week.
Call me Captain Awesome, Captain Backfire, Captain Crazypants; anything, really, because honestly, I don't need anything but music. Which is just berserk.
Today's house special is diverse, with oaky undertones and a one-two punch.
It saddens me that more people haven't heard of Owen. Spread the good word.

I understand that music can make people emotional. For example, Amazing Grace could make one cry while The Way You Look Tonight could put the stupidest grin on one's face. The Album Leaf covers all ranges of emotion, with hardly any words.
Haha.......someone very dear to me used to sing me this song over the phone when we were in high school. Ha.
I always say Pinkerton's my favorite, because of Across the Sea, but honestly- the Blue Album. Why? Rivers Cuomo was singing my songs.
You can't have an anxiety attack listening to this song.
Heart attack, maybe. Bu tit would be peaceful. Mmm.

Presents the best question: When I wake up tomorrow, will you still feel the same?
Band of Horses- No One's Gonna Love You
The song I wish I could hate.


Seems like Ms. Apple has been lost and forgotten?